I’ve had my fair share, and thankfully they have been reasonably interesting and not too sapping of life… And I am pretty much the same as when I was born. Never had an operation.
Tip of finger almost lost – car door, age of four. Tip held on by flap of skin. Sewn back together. Nail and end of finger have been weird ever since.
Broken collar bone – rugby, early twenties. Coach told me to tackle someone, just for once. The other guy, a large No.8, left the field before me, I flattened him. When I went to run again, it hurt. A spectator offered to fix my dislocation – I refused. The hospital Xray said no break. It was, and is still visibly healed broken.
Temporary transitory amnesia. Also rugby, same era. Official story is I ran into the goal posts. My best guess – put so much effort in the blood left my brain. At half time I got in my car and tore around our small town at great speeds, albeit abiding my all stop signs and non-speed road rules. Traffic cop trailed me for 30 mins. Never charged. At home my memory reset every 20 mins. Couldn’t recall the prior hours. Kept asking the same questions. Family got frustrated and angry. Couldn’t remember where Mum’s birthday present was. Was all good next morning. Scans showed no damage. Surreal. Just like the movie Memento.
Skull fracture. Hit by a London cab while crossing a one-way street and looking the wrong way. Cab driver had no time to brake and I flew in the air and landed on my head. Thigh bruised for months. Tinnitus for 6 months. 3 inch fracture. Hospital for 3 days. Too f*&cked to do anything like work so family flew me back to NZ. Possibly deliberate fail, according to my journal I was very depressed…
Stupid muscles. For at least a quarter of my adult life something has been wrong. Torn hamstrings, twisted or sprained ankles, ACLs. Always limping or something. Seems to be related to being so finely tuned.
Labyrinthitis – I was working for the AEC checking electoral roll enrolments, door to door. Had the habit of sucking my pen. Most people I encountered were at home during work hours. Seemingly someone at home sick infected me. Two days later I couldn’t walk, it is an inner ear destruction, permanent. Took me 6 months to come right. I effectively had to learn to walk again from scratch. Humbling.
Chronic Fatigue – yep, it is real. I’m a skeptic of such things ordinarily… Consequence of glandular fever. My energy has sapped, and I as always someone who worked tirelessly. Embarrassing. I still have it, but I have learned to deal with it. Seems to be related to get-up-and-go hormones. Unless on caffeine I struggle to be motivated to work for myself. Strangely working for others is not a problem, so they seem to use different hormones. It is real.
Hyper-sensitive to Caffeine. This is an odd one. It isn’t that it makes me ill. I just need very little, say 1/8th of a No-Doze pill, and I’m wired for 36 hours. I need to get rather drunk to be able to sleep. I haven’t found any mention of this anywhere else.
My Disorders. Official, from a shrink. One I had worked out in my 40s, two I knew, and one, the latter, surprised me. Asperger’s, Alcohol Abuse Disorder, Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. The OCD is mostly internal, something I didn’t know was a thing. I do arrange things sometimes, but it is more repetitive thoughts.
Head injury. Keeled over at work function, and had been drinking a bit. Caught my head on a table edge and bled profusely. Ambulance and many stitches. Nurse says if I did it at home I would have bled to death.