I don’t have the killer instinct, not interested in the final blow, or full success.
In rugby I was perhaps the best try scorer in NZ (or maybe the world). At 18, in senior club rugby, I averaged two tries per game, almost always under the posts. But I never tackled, wasn’t interested. Never went to the gym, never practised my skills, just cruised. The captain of NZ’s first sevens team introduced me to the captain of the French fifteens rugby captain with “this guy has scored some of the most amazing tries I have ever seen”.
In athletics I was top 25 in NZ after just five competitions, the last being getting into the Auckland final, 200 metres. I never trained, never had a coach, figured I would never get further than the semis at the Commonwealth Games. I quit.
I launched a global doomsday cult online (Mayan 2012) and made zero money from it. A disingenuous book could have sold very well.
My affiliate marketing business made millions, but my ambition to expand and capitalise on it was zero. It only happened because an American bullied me into it (in a nice way).
With women, I have been at the point of “sealing the deal” dozens of times, but the drive and desire is not necessarily lacking, but perhaps not present. I have left in my wake some confused ladies.
And now, with writing, I have a lot to say, but the drive is 90% not 100% and with ADHD and autism that means getting not much done.
I am missing that 10% that successful people have, and I figure it is somehow not important to me. I don’t know if that is good or bad but my next two books need to exist for humanity’s sake, so that is a bit inspiring.