In this snowflake age, it is becoming more and more important to separate art from the artist. Polanski being a pedophile doesn’t make his movies less good.
We should do the same at a personal level. Separate the situation from the person. I’m serious, I feel we lazily combine the two, unfairly.
Actual case: I was recently divorced. It was a poster child of amicable divorces, the least fuss and zero hate or anger. Even so, it was one of the most traumatic and horrible experiences of my life. What other people have gone through upsets me deeply, the mere idea of it. To my mind, cultures that forbid divorce have a touch of sense.
I am so proud of myself, throughout the divorce (and beyond) I have separated the thing from the people. Divorce, as a thing, is brutal, no matter how well it is dealt with. I literally hate divorce, it feels like an evil thing that should be banished.
But I don’t hate the people. I still love my ex and even respect her for making a major life choice that makes her more happy. The “bad guy” is lovely and simply followed his heart.
I got bashed the other night. The situation is not nice, and I am finding it interesting observing how I am dealing with it. The person – I actually, honestly, want to hug him. I figure that is what is missing from his life. Everyone needs hugs and those who have hugs don’t coward punch.
People are fucked up and do fucked up things. Hate the result, give the person love. Separate the two.