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2020: Resistance and Procrastination

6 months in (could be more, I’ve literally lost track…) and I am finding new ways to spend my time in relative isolation.

Disclaimer – the pandemic coincided with me starting to write a book, so the evolution of peripheral activities has been slower than perhaps for other people.

At the beginning, these were how I spend more at home time:

TV – pure luck that the Golden Age of TV has coincided with the Great Staying at Home. I already had bulging lists of shows I had to see (or at least try). I’m still only half way through. I fear that my list is determining the duration of the pandemic, as if we are in a simulation that is purely designed to study my personal entertainment choices…

Cooking – I have expanded my repertoire more than ever before, but it doesn’t come close to defining 2020 for me. If anything, I’m a bit over cooking.

Video Games – for every 5 video games I have bought in recent decades, I’ve played 2 and finished none. Even now, as much as I love video games, they are in a stupid place. If I have the energy to play them I choose to work (writing, business, day job) instead. And if I want to relax, well, TV is easier. Been playing The Witcher 3 and Forza, maybe 30 mins a week. Weak.

Rainy Day Tasks – I have boxes of stuff to be dealt with one day. Old journals and photos that should be digitised. Magazine clippings of books I should read and many hundreds of albums I should listen to – coinciding perfectly with the existence of Spotify. Shit getting done, happily.

Cocktails – I have always been a basics person in most things. With alcohol, cheapest most standard spirits, wine, beer have been fine for me. Purely from boredom I have been buying some liqueurs, experimenting! I like martinis now, and get they are just a fancy way of drinking straight vodka 🙂

Hair: thanks to my daughter, and time, I now have long hair that is no longer grey. And lately a long goatee. All fun while nobody sees me. A bit concerning though, if I stay looking ridiculous (think Einstein) beyond the pandemic

Now to Resistance and Procrastination:

Things I am only doing now, after 6 months, for whatever reason, I was resisting:

Walks: I am a walker. I’ve never got tired on walk. If I go mad, I know I’ll head off on a walk and never return. Forcing myself to walk most days, my walking has evolved. I have slowed down, and been more reflective. More pleasant walk than “on a mission” walk. More normal.

At Peace With Solitude: in my late teens I deduced that nothing much happens if you stay at home, and the moment you step out the door and entire universe of possibilities can occur. Such a philosophy has meant home has been for recuperation and not much else.

While still highly predictable, I have realised being at home isn’t a waste of potential. It has its good moments.

Serious Cinema: I have always watched it in cinemas. Only in recent weeks have I tried watching it at home. It isn’t as good as the strict focus of a cinema, but better than not. I think I feel I can fail quality movies by not doing them properly. I have only watched maybe 5 rock concert videos in my life, perhaps for the same reasons.

Sleep/Dreams: 7-9 hours sleep is well-known to be optimal. Highly intelligent people sleep less, because they want to get more value from life. I have always subscribed to this, before I read it was a thing.

I have the best dreams, and they would make the most amazing movies. Even when horrific, they are amusing to me. I have been sleeping much more. My average has gone from maybe 6-7 hours to maybe 8-9 hours. I am recalling dreams in greater detail. I am looking forward to going to bed because the dreams are so good. That is totally new for me.

Money: like many of my peers who still have jobs, the restrictions have meant I have spent less, have saved money. The combo of not being able to do things, and having more cash, has starkly made me consider what I want from life, and what things and experiences are worth. Regardless of previous ideological stances, this year I have become even more less consumerist, and even more charitable.

Love: absence makes the heart grow fonder, of course. The isolation has forced (everyone?) to reassess what/who is important to them, rather than the what the channels of normal life send us towards. I’ve never been so apart from my children and dogs. Nor friends, but that is not so hard – I guess vested interest and intimacy are factors.

Dating apps – connecting virtually without the potential to actually meet in the near term – has become pointless and I have mostly given up.

Language: I finally remembered why I started writing this. I am a teeny bit psychic, and I have rare “knowings”, certainties of the future. Rare as in every year or two… One from decades ago is that I will speak French. I’ve watched so many French movies, I accept I may have just got confused. But still, I keep wondering how it will happen. Will I marry a French person? I was “Green Card” engaged to a French woman once… Will I live somewhere French is spoken? Will one of my kids learn and get me to help them? Will there be a global cataclysm and I end up surviving with French folk?

All of those I have repeatedly considered and rejected. Most likely my “knowing” was wrong.

Today, out of pure boredom, and needing some new addictive app thing to amuse me in 5 minute segments, I installed DuoLingo. Knowings can be self-fulfilling, and I have a “feeling” that the mystery of me knowing French has been solved. It will be achieved purely from pandemic boredom. I have always wanted to know French, and resistance and procrastination have been in the way. Until now.

Je suis un homme (it is a start!)

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