As someone on the Autistic Spectrum, I am really, really good at noticing patterns. Even my own patterns, without bias.
And, also, I am a pagan and believe that magic exists, that there is a layer in our world outside of current science.
I call it “care” and it is a weak force. Care can influence someone more so in the direction they might have already been thinking. That is all it is. Weak but potentially influential.
In retrospect, three aspects of my life have influenced how I radiate care.
- My Dad pushed my brother down some stairs, from anger
- As a tram conductor, every time someone stepped off the tram, I prayed that they would not get run over.
- Romance – I’ve been in love with girls/women continuously since kindergarten, I can’t get enough of them, they are awesome
These are decades old, and until now, I have never seen a punch connect, and not any form of vehicle collision, not even slightly bumping a sign or another vehicle.
I believe my sub-conscious radiates enough care to stop fights or accidents to happen. And it has worked for 20+ years, even though I have only just realised it.
I have frequented pubs where this time last week or next week someone got stabbed.
I wander city streets where a vehicle accident is guaranteed sooner or later.
I saw neither, despite the odds, and I truly believed that my radiating “care” made a difference.
And if someone is in the direction of liking me, I can get them like me a little bit more. I am unsure if this has had any ultimate positive use.
Until this week/month. In Dublin I was at my wits-end trying to find the airport bus stop. Literally losing the plot, because I had trial-runned it the day before. I was so subsumed with the mission of getting home that 2 homeless? men started fighting. I figured my focus meant my care for the outer world was lessened. I felt terrible.
Tonight – A Brawl. In the last year or so I have broken up 3 fights, 3 occasions that would have been much worse if I had not intervened. No punches connected.
Tonight, from nowhere (well, started in the toilets, I didn’t know at the time), 10 men were punching 10 men. It was big. A dozen police turned up quite quickly, bless them.
I did my usual heroic intervention, but on those who were winding down away from the main affray.
I cannot change or affect something big. Magic is small, weak and subtle.
I stopped two people from hitting each other, but one had already given up, nose fucked up and bloody. The difference I made was minor.
Magic works best on the flip-floppers. The could go this way / might go that way…
I can’t stop wars. I can’t stop inherently bad people from being bad.
Magic is small, weak and subtle. I still haven’t seen a car crash, or even a bicycle crash, but my era of not seeing punches connect is over after decades of thinking I made a difference. I feel depleted.
Update, 2021: I heard a distant “bump”. When I got to the intersection, I saw a car down the way in the position of a minor accident. I am learning that my powers are not all powerful. Just nudges that are usually enough.
Oh, just noticed, I mentioned women at the start. Magic is most famously (pre-Hollywood) used for romantic purposes. From my experiments (the energy and dedication required is major) magic can work romantically. There are two strong caveats:
- You can only get someone to like you slightly more than they already did
- If it is already that wishy-washy, it probably is not sustainable
Numerous times I have caused someone to come to me. Like igniting a beacon. In one case, Simone in Sydney, she didn’t know why she headed in my direction, just did. In Melbourne I caused a waitress to randomly visit me, for no reason, but it took hours of intense intent.
More recently I caused a love interest to wear a particular and rarely worn outfit, just by nudging her psychically in that direction.
Magic is just a nudge when people are dilly-dallying. It is that weak. For entertainment purposes only, I am deciding.